Bike riding is an intensely physical activity, but it can also be very emotional. Over the years I have felt many strong feelings while riding.
On Sunday, September 6th I took a ride through Colchester, Milton and Essex Junction. It is a ride I have been on many times before. Part of it is on Rollin Irish Road. Bill Irish used to work at the Winooski Post Office. I got to know him because I had a post office box. Many years ago I told him about a ride I had taken on Rollin Irish Road and he said that the road was named after his father, Rollin Irish. I always thought that Rollin was short for Rolling! I think about Bill when I am on the road named for his father. While I was on Rollin Irish Road on the 6th, a splinter group of the Winooski Bike Gang caught up with me. There were six riders and I knew most of them by sight. We rode together for a while and then they went ahead of me. They were all much younger than me and faster riders. I did not expect them to slow down. I felt sad at being left behind but also happy and proud that the bike gang I helped start five years ago played a roll in that group of people riding together and becoming friends. It made me feel part of the larger bike community. As I get older I find that many of my emotions have a bittersweet quality.
About 30 years ago I put my bike on the roof of my car and drove up to Saint Albans. I was doing a program in the library and had some time afterwards to ride. I rode down Lower Newton Road and did a loop that took me toward Swanton. It was one of the few rides during which I felt ecstatic most of the way. The weather was perfect but more than that I felt very strong and pedaling was almost effortless. I was completely in flow mode. That feeling doesn’t happen very often, but every once in a while it comes back. Last year I was taking a ride in South Hero and during one short uphill stretch I felt like I was flying. I hope that all of us can experience that feeling on our bikes.
Sadly, anxiety is frequently part of my riding experience. That’s because anxiety is a big part of my life. I recently went for my annual checkup and I had to fill out a form that asked how often I felt anxious. My answer was every day! My doctor said that as long as I can function, anxiety is not a big concern. I have joked that if one anxiety goes away I always have a backup anxiety ready! Even though I carried a pump and spare inner tube, I used to be very anxious about getting a flat tire and being stranded a long way from home. I got my first cell phone so I could call for help if I needed it. Now that anxiety has eased. I have more confidence that I can fix a tire if necessary and I have friends who will come and rescue me if needed. My general level of riding anxiety is less than it used to be.
In the spring, when I take my first long ride I have a feeling I call ‘Away’. It is a sense that I am in the countryside and out of Burlington and Winooski. It is a feeling of joy and expansiveness. It happens almost every year! For most of the winter my riding is limited to Burlington and Winooski. I go to the YMCA, City Market, the Fletcher Free Library and work. In the fall I always plan to do some winter recreational riding but then the reality of riding when it is below 40 degrees sets in! I wait for the spring.
I used to experience road rage and sometimes I followed drivers and yelled at them when they got out of their cars. I still get angry and annoyed but I don’t act on it any more. Is that emotional maturity? Maybe it is or maybe I am just getting older! I still get angrier on my bike than I do in other situations. I think it is because on a bike I am feel that I am more vulnerable. Every once in a while I think about what a car can do to me and my bike! I don’t ride in fear but I am very cautious. I always ride with plenty of lights. I don’t think that confrontations with car drivers are useful, but sometimes they are hard to a avoid.
About the Author: Peter Burns is a long-time bike enthusiast, and one of the original year-round bike riders in the greater Burlington area. In addition to writing about walking and biking, Peter teaches a variety of bike workshops. He also works at a group home for people with psychiatric disabilities, teaches classes for the Vermont Humanities Council, teaches swimming at the Burlington YMCA, and is a regular host of Storytelling VT. You can contact Peter at [email protected].